Recently, I was leading a workshop for local government elected officials on how to engage better with your stakeholders and constituents in order to achieve more during a council term. Respect was a key theme of my presentation and the subsequent discussion. One councilor commented that at a recent council meeting, two councilors went at each other in a very disrespectful manner and, while it was only two council members engaged in this exchange, the local paper reported that council was falling apart with behaviour that was embarrassing. The councilor in the workshop was upset that she had been lumped in with this bad behaviour. Then she said, “But that’s not what they’re like outside of council.”
It made me wonder, then what are these people like at home? Do they employ the same tactics with their family and friends, with service people or restaurant staff? Or was that level of disrespect and frustration saved for the workplace/council?
It’s likely that you’ve had a similar experience. You’ve witnessed someone’s behaviour, which reflects our values, be very different at home than at work or different with family than with friends. Who will you experience today, Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?
Imagine how much more productive communication and inter-personal relationships would be if we all embraced one set of values for work, home and life. No “tough guy” at work and “softie” at home (or vice versa) — the respect you give your spouse and kids is the same respect that you give everyone at work (and not just to your peers or superiors — to everyone).
What would our daily lives be like if we brought one consistent set of values to all aspects of our life? Employing positive values, such as respect, compassion, encouragement and understanding pays enormous dividends. And frankly, even if you’re values aren’t positive — maybe you’re just a jerk — it’s still easier for people to deal with you if you’re consistent. But being one person in one place and being a very different person elsewhere is confusing, damaging and seriously unproductive.
Fostering relationships, building strong teams and achieving effective leadership requires consistency. “We could consider him but he’s a wild card with people”, is not what you want being said about you. You don’t want to be the boss that requires staff to ask each other, “What kind of mood is she in today?” If “Jekyll and Hyde” references are used to describe you, you’ve got some work to do.
When you live your life with one consistent set of values and behaviours for everyone, with respect at the core, you become someone who is trusted, approachable, respected and valued by others. Commit to practicing one set of values in all facets of your life, and you’ll discover that your interactions with others become remarkably consistent (and positive!).
~ Mo Douglas
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